Drivers suck.  Virtually all drivers.  Man or woman, behind the wheel of an automobile the human species turns into some kind of animal, desperately trying to destroy the serenity of those around them.  It’s annoying to the point where it merits special attention – attention I’m willing to give it so you the reader may in fact share in my dissatisfaction.  Each time I feel like it (I would say weekly, but that’s a big fat lie), I’ll be posting on another aspect of driving and traffic that absolutely drives me bonkers, almost like a form of delayed road rage.

To get things started I thought I’d share my opinion on how both men and women are terrible drivers, just in completely different way.  Call me biased, call me whatever, but this is my opinion and I’m expressing it here.  Feel free to run me through the wringer in the comments below.

First off lets talk about men.  Being a man, I feel I’m fairly acquainted with how one thinks, and it’s pretty gnarly to say the least.  We as men tend to drive more aggressively than women.  Sitting at a light with another car next to you?  Yeah, you’re going to try and make sure you’re ahead of that car until you reach this imaginary line in your head saying “take that sucker!” – even if they aren’t aware they’re playing this game.  Men also like to take turns a bit faster than they probably should.  Something about feeling the “g’s” when zipping around a corner makes driving more pleasurable, even when it’s smashing our significant others up against the door from sheer force.  Last but not least, we tend to get angry, and that anger channels directly into the weight of our feet, causing us to speed down the street swerving around cars like we’re in some Hollywood movie.  Even if you say “that’s not me” – it’s in there somewhere, trust me.  And speaking of ignorance, lets talk about women drivers.

Women drivers are a completely different beast all together.  Their danger on the road is mostly due to complete ignorance of their surroundings.  Women are often the ones going slower in the left lane, unaware of the long line of cars behind them, with nothing but open road ahead.  I’m not exactly sure the cause of this, but it’s definitely there.  Next time you’re in a similar situation, just try and keep a tally of men vs women slowing things down in the left lane, it’s greater than 3-to-1.  Another unfortunate part to this ignorance is waiting until the last minute to get into the proper lane.  It’s so frustrating to see 20+ cars have to slow down because of a single driver’s inability to read street signs.  (Amplify this anger by 10 if it’s a construction site)  While both men and women are retarded for texting while driving, women do seem to be more inclined to do so, causing even more headaches for other drivers, including death.

What’s the answer?  There isn’t one.  ”Boys will be boys” as they say – and women never change either.  Maybe one day we’ll have automated traffic systems on the highways, but I must admit that would be a sad day indeed.  So women, pay attention to OTHER drivers on the road – Men, be more COURTEOUS to other drivers on the road.  I’m no better.  Let’s just try and not kill one another.  How does that sound?

I’ll be writing more “researched” posts on this crap later, but for now I just wanted to get some of the not-totally-researchable stuff out there in a fairly succinct way.  Gold star for me!